It’s the beginning of week 3 since my loverman’s cancer diagnosis. We had a doctor’s appointment this morning at 9:15 am. What should have been a half hour appointment, turned into 3 hours because of more blood tests. This appointment was with our family doctor, to bring him up to speed and on board with my loverman’s (aka Kevin’s) diagnosis and treatment. Our doctor was stunned. He was also concerned about how pale he was, so he ordered some more blood tests. Now we wait for more results.
After we left the doctor’s office, Kevin was feeling a little bit tired, but he insisted that he wanted to go to Costco to pick his pain prescription. We made it as far as the pharmacy and he was SO exhausted it scared me a little bit. He sat for a few minutes, but then he wanted to keep going. We had a half hour to kill while we waited for his meds, so we did a little shopping. You know when you look at someone and you are afraid that they might pass out at any moment? Well this is how I felt the entire time that we were shopping. It was terrifying. He’s 6ft 4 and 240 pounds! Him passing out in the middle of Costco on a concrete floor wouldn’t have been a good thing at all. I kept suggesting that he go sit down and get something to eat or drink while I finished everything, but he wouldn’t. (grrr…lol) Finally when it was time to stand in line at the cash, he listened because he could barely stand.
On our way home in the truck he looked at me with glossy eyes and told me that he is really worried about how weak he is feeling. He said that he doesn’t feel like he is getting better. Then he had a little meltdown. I explained that the cancer treatment is tough and he is also recovering from a pretty serious surgery. Being so weak is a reasonable expectation at this stage and he needs to give his body time to adjust and heal. I know it’s not so easy for him to accept. So I have spent the better part of my day comforting him and making sure he keeps focusing on the positive outcomes that everyone, including the doctors, hope he will ultimately achieve with treatment.
The cancer diagnosis and treatment is bringing my big strong loverman to his knees. It’s a really hard thing to watch. But I must continue to be strong enough to pick him up when he drops and keep redirecting his thinking. So far, so good.
We are going to put our outdoor Christmas lights up tomorrow (with some help), so hopefully it will be a happier and brighter day! =)
Thanks for stopping by and following our journey! <3